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I received an e-mail from my brother announcing a party for my mother's 90th birthday in late February. The panic was short lived. I can't go, and wouldn't if I could go. My family and I just don't do well together. My weirdness is just enough that they can't handle me being around with out it leading to "something." We hadn't seen each other in many years. My brother (who's really okay), my sister and my mother came to visit last summer. It was two months of on again off again anxiety attacks for me. Then a month of "I should have said..." No way I'm going to willingly drive 8 hours to put myself in that same scenario again. And I wouldn't have the home court advantage.
Anyway, I decided I "should" make my mother a birthday present. She's still very active, drives, bowls, etc., so I thought a bowling towel would be a good present for her to push into the back of the closet and never use. (Lest you think I exaggerate, most of her friends don't even know I exist. Two monumental birthdays ago, she threw my hand made gift behind the couch when she found out it was from me and not the friend she thought it was from. This was after she gushed over it and exclaimed how gorgeous it was. My niece informed her it was from me, and she said, "Oh," and threw it over her shoulder behind the couch.) Piece of work, my mother is. I had decided to make her some short socks for bowling, but that's just too much work for something that will be discarded, and I'd have to use some of my precious sock yarn to do it. The towel is cotton I rarely knit with and am happy to use up.
So here is the four inches of towel I'm making for her. Dutiful daughter that I am. And I'll mail it to my sister, where the party is going to be so that it will get put on the table with all the other gifts so that the rest of the family knows I acknowledged her birthday even if my mother never will."Why?" you ask....I'm not sure. I'll think about it (read: obsess) alot during the next few weeks and will probably never come up with an answer.
So that was pretty much the extend of my knitting yesterday.
Hi Lizzie!
ReplyDeleteThis is Debbie (Luvsknitting) from Yahoo 360. I was wondering what had become of you! I'm so glad that I finally you. It sure is good to read your blog again!
I added your URL to the Google Reader thing, but I'm not too sure how it's suppose to work. LOL!
Deb Luvsknitting at verizon dot Net
Oh, Lizzie, I am so with you. My mom and your mom must be sisters. You are wise to do what your heart tells you to do. My mom thinks the world revolves around her. Hugs to you for taking care of yourself and not allow your mother to create anxiety attacks for you.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it mind-boggling how our parents can continue to pull our chains like that? I'm right there with you and Joansie, though I'd also have to include my father in the mix.
ReplyDeleteI agree, don't waste good yarn or too much effort on the gift for your mom. If it were me, I would send a store bought card and that's it! The only presents I give my parents these days are photos of my girls.
Try not to obssess too much; I can tell you from experience, it doesn't solve anything!