Stash Buster

I'm almost half way done with this baby blanket. It's the Diagonal Box Stitch, is really fast to do and eats up yarn like crazy. This is about 16 oz of ww acrylic. The pattern lends itself to stripes very nicely as you can see from these two I made several years ago. The top one lives with 3rd Son and his family, and was made with two strands of yarn and fits a twin bed. The bottom one is in progress in this picture but ended up almost the same size, if I remember correctly, and lives with 3rd Grandson.
We haven't managed to get into the groove since we got back. Youngest Daughter's client went on vacation while we were on vacation and consequently YD has basically been out of work since we got back. A few hours here and there with a couple different clients, but.... So with her home during the day, our, Youngest Granddaughter and my, routine has been higgledy piggledy.

When the stress hits, I become even more of a recluse than I already am. Yes, I post daily and generally answer e-mails, but I leave the house less and less and if I leave the house, try not to leave the car. IOW, I go in for what one of my autistic friends calls, radio silence. I've lost a lot of friends over the years, both virtual and in reality because of this. It's hard, but I just am too old to force myself to be conversational and all that when I'm stressed out. Sometimes it lasts for days or weeks, sometimes for years. It just depends on how high maintenance the relationship is.

Thinking back over my life up until now, I am amazed by the sheer amount of effort those with AS must make just to get through each day, by the amount of coping techniques we must intuitively come up with and practice. We are bombarded every day with so much overwhelming sensory information. Our clothes are too tight, making eye contact can literally hurt, the sounds of everyday conversation, of a clock ticking or someone tapping a pencil against the desk can drive us out of our minds. Certain smells can overwhelm us, the lights are too dim or too bright, we just don’t feel comfortable in our bodies. It’s very hard for us to actually relax, because there always seems to be a threat lurking somewhere.

Every interaction we have is like solving a five hundred piece puzzle before the time is up. When we see a person we would like to interact with, first we must decide if we have enough energy to go through with the interaction. Whereas a large segment of the population gets energy from interaction with others, for us it can be sometimes dangerously overwhelming and depleting. It is like a forbidden fruit that we would like to enjoy but must weigh the consequences. Then we have to figure out, often in just a few seconds, what we’re going to say and how we’re going to say it and try to double check it before we say it to make sure, to the best of our knowledge, that it might be something that could flow reasonably into the conversation. We have to call up old scripts and decide which is most appropriate for the situation. And on top of all that,we have to make it sound as natural as we can. -Kate Goldfield

I've been watching the progress on this Aran Wrap Cardigan that Sally has been making. The pattern is from Vogue Knitting, Fall 2008. (Apologies to non-Ravelry members. The Vogue link is currently broken.) It's a really neat concept, but it'd be like knitting an afghan for a full sized bed to fit me.... Way too much time and yarn!

Look at this variation on Grandma's Favorite Dishcloth. It looks like there is a horizontal section in the center of the diagonal work. And it should be easily expanded out for a blanket or afghan! I like it!

Three new Harry Potter based sock patterns. Really neat!

Autumn in all it's Glory

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I got quite a bit done on my sock yesterday. About two more inches until the toe decreases. I'm glad I chose the simple vanilla sock to do as any stitch pattern would be lost in the stripes. ETA: I just found this new knitting magazine, knotions, and the Sampler Socks are really a good idea for self striping yarns.) I really like how the two skeins of yarn compliment each other. Although this sock doesn't look much different than any of the other commercial self-striping yarns, I like that no one will every have a pair "just like" mine. So far, all votes are Yea! for Red Heart Heart & Sole sock yarn. It's about the same price (minus the shipping) of KnitPicks Felici Self-Striping, which would be comparable. It's not merino which Felici is, but if your local chain store carries it, it's instant gratification.
Although Minnesota (where I grew up) doesn't always have the lush autumnal colors that, say, Maine or Vermont does, there were days that were almost like a carefully planned fireworks display. I miss those markers of seasonal change. Here in the desert we don't have the same brash statements from Mother Nature. Everything is gradual and slips in without notice. These socks are my tribute to the autumns I miss.

From Accepting Asperger's Syndrome: Thinking back over my life up until now, I am amazed by the sheer amount of effort those with AS must make just to get through each day, by the amount of coping techniques we must intuitively come up with and practice. We are bombarded every day with so much overwhelming sensory information. Our clothes are too tight, making eye contact can literally hurt, the sounds of everyday conversation, of a clock ticking or someone tapping a pencil against the desk can drive us out of our minds. Certain smells can overwhelm us, the lights are too dim or too bright, we just don’t feel comfortable in our bodies. It’s very hard for us to actually relax, because there always seems to be a threat lurking somewhere.-Kate Goldfield

The Book of Lost Things John Connolly

rating: 3 of 5 stars
Kinda of a scary book. Connolly has rewritten some of the well known fairytales to create another new story from them.

It was good. It kept my interest and there were several times I put my knitting aside and just read. It causes one to look inside to see what it is that makes oneself.

Not something I'd give to young children, but a tween or teen might find it interesting.

View all my reviews.

HF Socks, Yards, and Yarns

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I made some progress on my HF Sock #2. The gusset decreases are all finished and I've just started the foot. I had some help from Deb on how to keep the sock all on the circular and not have to take it off for heel and toe. Although I can do the heel flap on the circular, I liked it better when using two DPNs. So if I'm traveling I can do it with just the circ. Once I finished the heel flap and turned the heel, everything else, picking up the sts, etc., was done on the circ. Old dog here learning new tricks.
I have a skein of each of these and can't decide which ones to make next. The orange and green would be for Youngest Daughter and the Neapolitan would be for me.... These, btw, should you be interested are available at Knitivity. Today is the beginning of the Mystery Mitten KAL. So, that will be my primary project for today with leftover knitting time devoted to the socks.

Here are some of the pics of the yard my BFF, F, built for his friend, N. The bridge goes over the lily pond to the wading pond. N can lay down in the pond for a cooling off!
This is a sitting bench on the opposite side of the yard.
And this is her Yoga Bench.

Resist Felting. No, I don't mean you should resist doing some felting (actually it's fulling). It's a technique so that only some of the knitted fabric will full and other areas won't. Check it out!
This is way too much fun! Click on it and try it! I think you can see a bigger one here.

Middle age, hell, that's my whole life. Asperger's Syndrome, it's not just for midlife!Lest you think this is a sad way for someone to live their life, remember, "Different strokes for different folks." I look at the life of a social butterfly with lots of friends calling, e-mailing and texting and think how wretched that would be. Comfort zones differ for each of us. Although I do like people as a concept, I just find they don't end up liking me and that leads to some very painful "good-bye" scenarios. Far too painful for me to lightly take the plunge of having people around. Enough of that.

Knittin' and Surfin'

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I worked on something for myself yesterday, just as I promised I would. I finished the leg on my Art School socks and have started the toe decreases! I'm really pleased with how well the color patterning matches on both socks.. Ray did a great dye job on this yarn! I'm not an identical sock person, but I dislike yarns striping/spiraling on one sock and pooling on another.

This is Hatz 6, only about three inches done. It's that same tiger striped yarn I have so much of, mixed with solids. CO an uneven number of sts, st st for several rounds for a rolled brim, then introduce solid color yarn: two sts veriagated, two sts solid. The uneven number of sts moves the coloring around in a spiral.

Had another cold spell here yesterday. Only up to the mid 80s. Even turned the evaporative cooler off for a bit during the day. However it's already up to 76 at 8:00 am so I don't think it'll be "cold" today.

Isn't this a pretty hat? KnitterMan (aka Ray at Knitivity) is making hatz for his favorite charity, Covenant House. I think this is a great use of leftover yarns! I'm pretty sure he's making these on his knitting machine.

Ali, at Skeins Her Way is having a Summer Goals contest. Go over, check it out, sign up, and let me know what your goal is, too. I'm going to knit ten Hatz for Cheyenne River Reservation!

Is this not the cutest way to display yarn? Robin, Knit & Purl Mama, is really quite good with a camera!



f.pea has a cute free pattern for a little girlie thingie. Although she designed it with the frillies, I'm not so sure about them. Or, maybe they'd be okay in the same color... However, I'm sure to be in the minority on that in this household. Eldest Granddaughter would be thrilled with it!


Aren't these cute buttons? Turtlegirl got them with her most recent shipment of the Rockin' Sock Club at Blue Moon Fibers. I think there is a future for knitting bags, coffee cups.... Midnight Star has some really neat lists of famous people that are know to have or it has been theorized due to accounts of their behavior, have Asperger's Syndrome.

Cars, Socks and Asperger's Syndrome

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Here is our new car. 2004 Kia Rio. And it's really a manual. Hand crank windows, no electric locks and manual transmission. I'm not complaining about the lack of electronic gadgets. Manual are much easier to fix if they go out. It's got good AC, lights that work, a place to store my driving glasses... It's a good car for us.
And here is the progress I made on my Bones sock yesterday. I had Big Foot aka Youngest Son try it on and it's not snug at all, so I'm sure it'll fit Seeley aka David Boreanaz.


Not much else happened yesterday. Little grocery shopping, a trip to the library, and that's about it...

From a discussion on one of Ravelry's forums concerning Autistic Spectrum Issues:

Poster: I’m just hoping that one day my daughter will have the skills and the courage to go out into the world, and to make a life of her own as you have.

I hope that she figures out coping strategies to help her deal with sensory overload and unpredictability. I can really do little more than just love her, when she is overwhelmed.

My response: I don’t feel I have a life. I spend most of my time figuring out how not to have to interact with people and the rest of the time terrified I will have to. I don’t think any amount of skills would have changed that. I really thought about it this morning, and it’s about a 50-50 chance no matter what I do, it’ll piss someone off. So now I try to do what doesn’t upset me.

Of course it’s taken 50+ years of trying to be normal for me to get this jaded. My kids and grandkids still try to do it “right” but they have more reserves of energy to do it. I hope it’ll be different for them, but I don’t think it will.

And something to remember. Doing the things you “make” your daughter do gets her to do them. It doesn’t change the anxiety they produce inside her. So each time she “has” to perform according to the standards set by someone other than herself, it produces anxiety within her. The anxiety may or may not create physical symptoms (such as stomach issues, etc.) but for sure it will create psychological issues of tension, fear, or a mental scraping of fingernails on the chalk board. It doesn’t change with time, either. I can make eye contact. But it always, always, always creates a gut wrenching anxiety within me.

I guess giving her the tools to “pass for normal” is an okay thing, but I just don’t know how good it is to insist she use them. I worry about this all the time with my kids and grands on the spectrum. It took me years and years to understand that everyone didn’t go through this agonizing anxiety every time they walked into the store, answered the phone, went to school. I thought everyone had a garbage disposal grinding inside when they had to interact. So I pushed the feelings down and down and down until I almost had a breakdown. Well, I suppose that some would say I did, because I walked out on my family and tried to start all over.

I’m not criticizing your beliefs. You, like every other parent, has to do what you think is best. And I don’t know that what you are doing isn’t the best. But I still come back to my original question for these kinds of forums:

Why do I have to change my behavior to make NTs comfortable? If your answer is, “Then less NTs would single you out to pick on you,” that is an untruth. It’s always a crap shoot whenever someone on the spectrum interacts with an NT. They still know we are “faking it”. Some are still nice, most aren’t. They can single someone that is different out of a huge crowd. I’ve had someone I’ve never seen before walk into a room full of people, make a bee line to me and start being abusive. I’ve seen kids on the playground single out my aspie kids or grands and start pushing them around.

Although it may make you more comfortable your child can “act normal” I can assure you it’s not making your child comfortable.

I have a son in a wheel chair and no matter how many tools we give him to walk, he’ll never be able to do. His disability is obvious and no one tries to make him pass for “normal.” My spectrum kids and grands and I have invisible disabilities and people are always trying to make us pass for normal. I don’t get it…..

I’m sure this post offended someone. I apologize in advance, but I know no other way to speak for the spectrum people that can’t speak for themselves. You have no idea how debilitating being forced to act “normal” is.

Invisible Bookshelf

Isn't it cool? All my knitting books in one easy location! I'm going to get more of them for the Harry Potter books and maybe my Diana Gabaldon books! Just scattered over the wall....

Here's how to make an invisible bookshelf if you'd rather not buy one!

Very little knitting done yesterday. I have a tooth ache and it was just easier to kick back and read. I still have a tooth ache but I can't afford to lolly gag around!

I did get the buttons for Presto Chango and got those sewn on, the sweater washed and blocked. So not it's ready to be packed away till this winter and see if it fits Youngest Grandson at that point. If it doesn't, it'll either get put away for next grand child, saved as a baby gift for someone, or sent off the Cheyenne River Reservation.

I just read this really well written article, The Girl With a Boy's Brain, about a young woman with Asperger's Syndrome. Although I have many different issues than she does, I have many in common. It's a good glimpse into the life of a person with AS.

Kniting, Spinning, and Asperger's Syndrome

I did spend most of my knitting time yesterday knitting up the swatch with my handspun. Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture of it, so, sorry.... I knit the swatch with several needle sizes, starting with a four and working up to a seven. I'd never really done that before and was amazed at how different the fabric was. The smaller needle produced a nice, firm, almost stiff fabric, and the size seven a nice loose usable fabric. I think, even though I didn't really enjoy spinning this all that much, I'll go ahead and work on finishing the rest of the pound of roving. It'll be a relative long term project, but, maybe I'll make myself something nice with it when done. I love the rustic look of the knitted fabric. And I'll try to get a good picture.

I spun some more mohair, too, and although the spindle isn't full yet, I may wind it off today and block. Then again, I just my keep spinning more of it. It's so slippery and soft and easy to spin....

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I know I've mentioned before that I have Asperger's Syndrome and I know that doesn't mean a lot to most people. The syndrome is on the Autistic Spectrum and is one of the more invisible syndromes. People with Asperger's are generally considered weird and annoying. There is a group on Ravelry, in fact several groups, that deal with different aspects of the Autistic Spectrum. Ones for those that have it to those that have friends and family members on the spectrum. There was a link to YouTube on one of the threads which lead me to several things on YouTube. These you might get an insight into my world.

Video 1
Video 2
Video 3
Video 4
Video 5

I have Asperger's Syndrome which is on the Autistic Spectrum. It's hard to diagnose in adults, and most information you find deals with diagnosing children. If you are interested in learning more about it from the view point of an autistic individual, read Asperger Syndrome in the Family and Pretending to Be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey. A good novel is The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon as well as The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon.

I don't expect anything from any of you because I've sent you this. I don't expect you to accept me any more than you do now, nor try to develop a relationship with me. I send you this to give you an idea of who I am and why I am that way. I really want to continue to be invisible.

It would be wonderful, I suppose, to have a group of friends, a family, family reunions, and all those things I see on TV, read about. Friends and relatives interacting with each other and with me just like on those Folger's commercials at Christmas time. But it doesn't work for me. It's never worked for me. I've always been odd, get strange looks, and am excluded for reasons I've never understood in any more than in an intellectual way. I know people don't like me and I know it's because I have Asperger's and I'm weird. But I don't understand it on an emotional level. The only "feelings" I have are those connected to rejection. Yet I don't see, hear, feel, understand what it is that I do "wrong." It can be told to me in a factual way: too loud, appearing to be an authority on everything, disagreeing, correcting everyone, inappropriate topics, but I don't hear the "too loud." I have information and assume others want that information. I have correct information and assume others want correct information. I don't understand the social nuance that makes a topic or a joke inappropriate.

I've lived my life trying to fake being human. I've felt all my life I was on the Wrong Planet. That I was an alien life form trying to pass for human.

One of the nice things about on-line relationships, is they are based on the written word, which everyone makes allowances for, because we can't see facial cues. It makes those with Aspberger's on the same level in many ways. You'd be surprised how much is communicate with facial cues, body language, etc. And if you can't see that, and I can't see it, it puts our conversation on an even plain. And that's nice for me and not irritating to you.

"The [Asperger] person usually has a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people. There is also a different perception of situations and sensory experiences. The overriding priority may be to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others." - Tony Attwood.

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Knitting Graffiti and Knitted Art
These would make the neatest knitting bags. Make sure you check out all the pockets inside. Not to mention the interior is white which makes things soooooo much easier to find.
If you enjoy Knitting in Color, this is a great blog to read.